


To Draw You Close and Make You Mine

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Meant to Be [8]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessie’s heart dropped into her shoes when she saw Will LaMontagne standing on her stoop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Draw You Close and Make You Mine

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the Celine Dion song, _The Colour of My Love_ , which is Sam and Jessie’s wedding song and a song that always makes me misty-eyed.

She was wide awake, felt as if she might never sleep again. All that made her feel calm was to watch him sleep, beside her, in the bed they had shared for five months. The idea that something might happen to him, that he might not come to sleep beside her, was palpable. How close had she come to losing him tonight?

Was she overreacting or had Death really set its sights on Sam Kassmeyer? It could not have him, not now; not for a long time. His heart and sternum were hers…he promised in front of God. And God was stronger than Death. She was stronger than Death.

This Wednesday was as normal as any other. It was still winter in New Hampshire. It didn’t seem to matter that the calendar was a week away from the official start of spring. Jessie overslept, which she blamed on her husband. She wasn’t mad enough not to let him indulge in a healthy sample of her body. And she surely indulged in his. Then she was rushing out to the diner. She got there at quarter after nine, Sarah grinning at her the entire time.

“Stop it.” Jessie went into her office, peeling off layers. “Is everything OK?”

“Everything is fine. Don’t you dare rush here when you have that good man at home. I remember those days. Jake and I couldn’t get enough when we were newlyweds…it feels like a million years ago. Anyway, everything is up and rolling even though Eric called out. We got Julie at the grill, she wanted the hours.”

“Is Eric OK?”

“He said he had a migraine.” Sarah crossed her arms. “I think that’s what he's calling hangovers these days.”

“I thought we had a conversation about judging people, Sarah.” Jessie sat down at her desk. “Eric does his best; alcoholism is a disease.”

“Hello, you do not have to preach to the choir. But just like fat people can pick on other fat people, I can say Eric needs to get his head on straight. Luckily Julie really wanted the hours…it’s not easy to rouse someone from sleep at 7am. Oh, I saw Penelope in Hilda’s the day before yesterday and she said she got an email from Josh. He’s coming back to Newberry soon. I hope he wants his old job back.”

“His mom passed away?” Jessie asked.

“Yeah.” Sarah nodded. “Penelope says it’s been two months but he’s been there getting things settled. Poor kid, so much of it fell on his shoulders.”

“Josh is a good kid, and a strong one. I'm glad he’s coming back though. Being isolated out there cannot be good for his mental health right now. Is everything OK with Zoë?”

“We've come to an understanding. I know she can be impulsive, she knows I can be a mother hen. We've promised each other to always be honest and not to let bad feelings fester. I doubt we’ll stick to it but Bill’s good about keeping us apart when things get sticky. We’ll be fine.”

John Brooks still owned the diner but his daughter was the co-owner. Sarah and Bill Copeland were her managers, Zoë was the assistant manager and they had a good number of part-time and full time staff working the 75 hours they were open per week. They had been lucky, not losing too much business in this much softer economy. Newberry had been good in keeping most businesses local so when people wanted breakfast and lunch they were coming to Brooks Diner before they went somewhere else.

“Good, I like relative calm in the land.” Jessie nodded. “Hey Sarah, how’s Charlie?”

“Oh my God, the kid is growing too fast and eating his poor mom out of house and home. He also seems to think we’re made of money. He just finished up a successful hockey season and he’s getting excited about baseball in May. I'm just glad his dad is faithful with those monthly checks; every little bit helps. He’s doing so well…I'm a really proud mom.”

That news made Jessie smile. The story of Charlie Hillridge could’ve been a very sad one. He was kidnapped from the Hillsborough County Fair when he was just eight years old. Everyone thought he was gone for good but Sarah never gave up hope. Her single-minded determination destroyed her marriage; her ex now lived in California with their daughter Alyssa.

Sarah started drinking after that and things were dark for a year or so. Through all of that she never gave up looking for Charlie. Five years later the kidnapping of another child at another state fair brought attention to Sarah and the case. No one could believe when Charlie and two other kids, including the most recent kidnap victim where found alive in Virginia. He’d been home in Newberry for two years; was well acclimated to the community and even his new broken family.

“I'm so glad to hear it, Sarah.”

“Me too.” She smiled. “That kid is my whole heart. I wish I could see his sister more often. California may as well be Mars. Jake and I have been talking about it. I don’t know what will come of it but I want to see her more.”

“I'm sure you do. A young girl needs her mother. She needs her dad too but she definitely needs her mom.”

Sarah nodded, leaving the office. Jessie grabbed the schedule to see what the rest of the week looked like staff wise. She was going to have to have a talk with Eric about his behavior soon. Jessie didn’t mind admitting that he frightened her a bit. He was large, looming, moody, and definitely drank too much.

Maybe she would push that off on her dad. He was mostly retired but he didn’t mind helping her out. In fact he loved it…retired did not mean dead. She picked up the phone and dialed home.

***

Sam smiled when Patrick Walker put the plate in front of him. It was a chicken club and some cottage fries and he was hungry.

“Does it look good, Chief?” He asked.

“Yes it does…thank you so much.”

Patrick nodded and walked away from the table. Jessie smiled at her husband.

“Should I be jealous?” She asked.

“Huh?” he looked up from his plate.

“Kaylee’s making cold food today. I've never seen you smile so much over another woman’s food. I'm a little concerned.”

“Oh no, sweet thing.” Sam took her hand. “No one holds a candle to my wife in any category. Not with cooking or anything else. I don’t mind reassuring you but you already knew that.”

Jessie smiled, holding his hand to her lips.

“Actually, there's something I need to talk to you about.” She said when he finished blessing his food.

“Is everything alright?”

“Well we have a tiny problem.”

“I'm all ears.”

“The weather is about to break you know. Well, I think it will eventually. Spring always returns to New Hampshire.”

“Mmm hmm.” Sam nodded. “I've been thinking about it and April is too rainy for major renovations. I've talked with Paul and Derek and we’re thinking late May. You know, before it gets too hot but past the rainy season. I'm no Ty Pennington but I think we can finish it in 8 days. We have some great plans, Jess. I think…”

“Sam?”

“Hmm?”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about.” Jessie replied.

“Its not?”

“Nope.” She shook her head.

“I'm sorry Jess, I just went off on my tangent and you weren't even thinking about that. What did you want to talk about?”

“This.” Jessie pulled down the turtleneck on her green sweater revealing multiple hickeys. Sam gasped.

“I did that?” his blue eyes were wide.

“Yes, and you enjoyed every minute of it.”

“It looks like I did.”

“Well since I can't wear turtlenecks in May and June I think its time to have a boundary discussion, my love.”

“I agree 100% but we should be logical about it, Jess. It’s much better to have this conversation when we’re undressed. I mean we have to show each other exactly what's off limits and what's fair game. Studies show that visual learning is 62% more successful than oral repetitive learning.”

Jessie laughed.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Dirty things went through my mind when you said oral repetitive learning.” She said.

“Don’t do that…I have to go to work.”

“We’ll make a date for 11:30. I’ll wear your favorite nightgown.”

“I love you, Jess. I love you for so much more than oral repetitive learning.”

“Forever and ever?” Jessie asked.

“I love you longer than that; heart and sternum.”

“I love you too, Sam.”

***

Jessie got home a little after seven o’clock. She made a salad with grilled chicken for dinner. There were phone calls to make so she did that before settling in for a few chapters of Stuart Woods and Stone Barrington. In ninety minutes she read about a quarter of the book. After that, despite willpower of steel, Jessie gave in and went to Gap.com.

Spring was coming and she was looking for new clothes. She wanted a more exciting wardrobe…more colors, more v-necks, maybe more snug-fitting outfits. She didn’t want anything too outrageous; Jessie was still Jessie after all. But Jessie Brooks loved jeans, baggy sweatshirts, and sneakers. Jessie Kassmeyer was changing and she liked it.

She enjoyed being loved and lusted after by her husband. She knew Sam would love her new look. He didn’t seem to care if she wore overalls or checked flannel pajamas, the man was ensorcelled. If that was the case, her spring choices would drive him bananas.

Jessie was surfing the website, listening to Oasis on iTunes when the doorbell rang. It was a little after ten and she wasn’t expecting company. Peach Street could get crazy sometimes at night but that was rare in the winter. She went to the door, turned on the porch light, and looked out the window. Jessie’s heart dropped into her shoes when she saw Will LaMontagne standing on her stoop. She quickly opened the door.

“What happened?” her voice was frantic.

Every Wednesday Will and Sam did what they called their ‘county run’. There was a fourteen mile stretch of Route 101 outside of Newberry proper but before reaching the Hillsborough County line. Two years ago when Sam became Chief of Police, he struck a deal with the Sheriff’s Department. For years there had been acrimony and animosity between the two departments. He sought to put an end to that by setting up a buddy project with Sheriff Bridges.

For three hours a night, seven nights a week, the highway was patrolled by a team. One member of the team was with the Newberry Police Department, the other with Sheriff’s Department. They worked together and there hadn't been a problem between law enforcement since. The county had its fair share of drug issues. With all those farms and fields out on Route 101, those issues arose nightly.

“He’s gonna be OK.” Will said, putting his hands on her shoulders. “He’ll be OK, Jess.”

“Will, what happened to him?”

“Let’s just go to the hospital. C'mon.”

Jessie nodded, running to the kitchen for her house keys and then grabbing her coat from the living room closet. She pulled the door closed and rushed down the steps with him. Will was speeding down the street, the speedometer said 85 MPH. The sirens blared as the police cruiser moved down the quiet streets and roads. Jessie couldn’t feel or hear anything.

There was white noise between her ears and everything moved in slow motion. Their day flashed through her mind…the way they laughed in bed, the way he touched her, sharing a sandwich at the diner, and his text right before he went on his county run. ‘ _I'm so anxious for 11:30. I love you so much, baby xoxo_ ’. Now she was rushing to the hospital because Sam was hurt. Will kept saying that he was going to be OK but maybe he was just saying that. Will didn’t want her to worry.

“Are you going to be alright?” he asked, helping her from the cruiser as they pulled into the ER at St. Michael’s Hospital in Hillsborough County.

“I don't know.” Jessie barely whispered and then cleared her throat. “Just tell me the truth before we go in there, Will. Is he…?”

“He’s OK, Jess. We should probably just go in. I know you want to see him.”

She nodded and they walked through the sliding doors. Jessie tried to take deep breaths but it felt as if she was breathing through a straw. Will stopped to talk to a nurse; she pointed them in the right direction. They went over and he pulled the curtain back. Sam was lying on a bed with his eyes closed.

“Honey?”

He opened his eyes, looked at Jessie, and then cut his eyes at Will.

“Dammit LaMontagne, I told you not to do it. I told you not to scare Jessie. Baby, I'm sorry; I'm gonna be fine.”

“What happened tonight?” she came over to the bed as Will pulled the curtain back around. He disappeared on the other side of it.

“I didn’t want you worrying.” Sam grimaced as he sat up. When he patted the bed, Jessie sat on the edge. She took his hand.

“So you weren't going to tell me what happened, Sam? You thought I wouldn’t notice that you were hurt?”

“I'm sorry about the bad word earlier.”

“I don’t care about bad words right now.” Jessie tried and failed to check her tone. “Tell me what happened to you.”

“Will and I were doing our county run like always. It was a slow night and that was fine. About a half hour before the shift ended, this Buick comes tearing out of one of the back roads and nearly cut us off. Will flashes the light and they take off. So we go after them.

“After five miles of a high speed chase, the car swerves off a dirt road heading toward the deserted Pascal farmhouse. That’s when we called for backup. We held off getting too close until two cars showed to cover us. We announced ourselves when we approached and the bullets started flying. We took cover; glass and debris flew everywhere.”

“Were you shot?” Jessie asked. He wasn’t wearing a shirt; she could see the cuts and bruises. There was large gauze on his left rib area.

“It’s a graze wound; I'm OK. I didn’t want Will to call you and scare you, Jessie.”

She nodded, kissing his hand just as she had in the diner earlier.

“Are you really going to be OK?” She asked, pushing the bile back down her throat. Her stomach was churning, Jessie was sure she was about to lose her dinner.

“Chief Kassmeyer is gonna be fine.” A Middle Eastern doctor pulled the curtain back. “It was a close call but there isn’t any permanent damage. Still you need to rest for the remainder of the week.”

“What?” Sam sat up some more, grimacing in pain. “Its only Wednesday, Doc; is that really necessary.”

“Don’t worry, Doctor…”

“Ashry. I'm Dr. Ali Ashry.”

Jessie put on a smile, shaking his hand.

“There's nothing to be concerned about, Dr. Ashry. Chief Kassmeyer will get all the required rest. He’ll either do it the easy way or the hard way.”

“Let me guess….you’re Mrs. Kassmeyer.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Well, your husband’s gonna be fine. He just needs to rest, and his bullet wound needs to be cleaned twice a day with wound wash. The cuts and scratches will heal with time but it’s a good idea to sanitize the deeper ones. That will help the healing.”

“So I can go home?” Sam asked, his blue eyes lighting up.

“Yes, but I don’t want you to overdo it. That gunshot was a little deeper than a graze wound. It needs to be taken care of and you need to rest.”

“You plan to tell me that a hundred times, don’t you Doc?” He sat up, swinging his feet onto the floor with Jessie’s help. “And you'll say it in front of my wife because she sometimes channels a prison warden?”

“Something like that.” Dr. Ashry smiled. “As much as I appreciate what the men and women of law enforcement do for us for the daily basis, you're a hardheaded group.”

“I plan to follow your instructions to the letter.” Sam said. Jessie helped him into his shirt and started buttoning it. “Scout’s honor.”

“This is wound wash.” He handed the bag to Jessie. “He needs to clean the wound twice a day for seven to ten days.”

Sam nodded, leaning on his wife as he stood from the uncomfortable bed.

“I want to see you here in ten days, Chief Kassmeyer. We need to check on that wound.”

“You got it, Doc. Thank you for your help.”

“Anytime. I hope to never see you this way again.”

Sam slipped his arm around his wife and they slowly made their way outside to the police cruiser. Will was leaning against it, putting a hurting on a piece of chewing gum.

“You all in one piece, Chief?” he opened the back door.

“That’s what they tell me. I'm gonna be fine. And I’m sure I’ll eventually forgive you for calling Jessie and worrying her.”

“I'm right here.” She said. “You might want to wait until I walk away to talk about me.”

Buckling Sam in didn’t take as much time as she thought. He probably could’ve done it himself but the twisting might have hurt him. Sam gave her a smile, kissing her lips. Jessie caressed his face and kissed him again. Then she climbed into the front seat and Will drove them home.

“When you’re healed we’ll compare scars.” Will said. “I got a nasty one from a battle with a drunkard and a broken bottle of Wild Turkey.”

“Where?” Sam asked.

“Right above my left shoulder blade. It took 14 stitches.”

“Hell, I got 14 stitches when I was 9 falling out of a tree in the park.”

“I got 16 when I split my chin open when I was 12.” Will said.

“OK, this conversation is not at all pleasant.” Jessie said, looking at Sam in the rearview mirror. “Are you OK, Sam?”

“They gave me something for the pain. I might be knocked out before we get home.”

“Well you'll sleep in the cruiser because I'm not carrying you.” She replied, trying to lighten the mood.

“Just throw me some blankets…I’ll be OK. Wanna stay and keep me warm, LaMontagne?”

“Um…it’s tempting but I gotta date with a bubbly blonde tonight.” Will grinned.

“Rub it in why don’t you.”

***

Sam groaned as he felt sleep burning off and the world invading his mostly peaceful dreams. His eyes slowly opened; he looked at his wife. Jessie was just sitting next to him, Indian style, staring at him. Moving was uncomfortable, his body was stiff and sore, but he sat up a little. There was no sleep in her eyes…she’d been awake much longer than he’d been.

“Jessie? Baby, what's wrong?”

Her lip trembled as she tried to speak and nothing came out. Her breath came out in short spurts; a gasp escaped her throat. The tears came hot and fast, Jessie couldn’t hold them back anymore. When Sam pulled her to him, pain be damned, she started sobbing.

“Oh baby,” he stroked her hair. “I'm sorry I made you cry. I'm so sorry, Jessie.”

She tried to stop but couldn’t stop. Jessie hated crying, was sure she got that from her parents. The Brooks were not emotional people. That didn’t mean they didn’t have feelings, they just preferred to get through the tough times with strength instead of tears.

This was a girl who tore her ACL and attempted to get back up to play lacrosse. They had to carry her off the field on a stretcher. But in Sam’s arms she just cried and cried. He never let her go and slowly Jessie started to come down. She stopped shaking, she stopped sobbing, and finally the tears slowed as well.

“I was scared to death.” She whispered. “I thought I’d lost you, the feeling only lasted for…Sam, it was less than a minute. It was the darkest, sickest thing I've ever felt in my life. I don’t know if I can survive feeling that again.”

Sam didn’t know what to say. He didn’t think she wanted his words of wisdom anyway so he just held onto her. He was there, he wasn’t dead, and he wasn’t letting go.

“A part of me wants to tell you to quit your job right now and become a teacher or a preacher or anything but a damn cop. But I love that you love what you do. I love that you love this community, the kids, and even the troubled souls. You wouldn’t be the man I love and respect and cherish if you weren't that man. And that man’s a cop. And now I'm gonna be scared every time our doorbell rings and I know you're out there somewhere. Desi’s dad died out there…it can happen.”

“Yes, it can. That’s why I say my prayers every night and live my life the best way I can. We never know when the time is gonna come. I do know that I pray for my safety out there because nothing brings me happiness like coming home to you. You are my strength and my heart.”

“I just to have to man up.” She replied, sniffling.

“You do not have to man up. It’s not always easy and it’s OK to cry sometimes. I'm here to comfort you. That’s my job…to take care of my wife.”

“I'm gonna take care of you too. Rest and relaxation is all that’ll be on your schedule until next week, Mister.”

“Yes ma'am. Dirty things run through my mind when I think about you nursing me back to health.”

Jessie laughed, kissing him. She was still crying and Sam wiped away her tears. She loved him so much. If anything happened to him she would surely crumble. She had no idea how she was going to stop thinking about it, playing it constant loop in her head.

Sleep didn’t really come last night. Jessie kept waking up, making sure he was still there. She wanted to make sure he was breathing. Lack of sleep and an abundance of tears proved to be an exhausting thing.

“Am I hurting you?” She tried to move away but Sam pulled her back. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Holding you, Jessie Kassmeyer, will never hurt me. You're not going anywhere right now.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure, baby.” He kissed her. Sam deepened the kiss, turning a little to rest mostly on his right side. “You're my favorite medicine…the cure for whatever ails me.”

“I love you. I just…I'm so blessed and lucky.”

“Ditto. Now I want you to sleep. I'm gonna be OK and I want you to get some rest. You can't take care of me if you're falling apart. We’ll take care of each other. That’s the most important promise we ever made.”

“Tell me you love me.” Jessie looked deep into his blue eyes.

“I love you, Jessie. You know how much I love you. I've loved you forever. I've got 12 years to make up for so, believe me, you're not getting rid of me for a long time to come.”

“12 years?”

“Since I came back from Boston and was too scared to ask you out.” Sam replied. “I didn’t want to ruin a good relationship. I wasted time; I have to make it up.”

“You're doing a good job so far.” Jessie cuddled in his arms but she found it hard to relax. She didn’t want to hurt him. Sam slipped his hand under her tee shirt to rub her back. That helped some. “You don’t have anything in the past to make up for, Sam. The future is uncertain as well. I just want to love each other, right here, right now. I want to love each other in this second and think about the next one when its here. If we do that, it'll end up being forever without a second thought.”

She’d said it perfectly. She’d always said it perfectly. That was why Sam loved her. That was one of the millions of reasons. One day he’d tell her each and every one of them.

What happened last night was proof of how precious life was and how fast it could be over. He would take it one day at a time; they would do it together. He was sure that every new day would be better than the one before.

***

  



End file.
